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22 août 2006 @ 17:40
events in the country feel like a bad professional wrestling script.   now you got Norberto Gonzales screaming "reds in the newsrooms".  i guess he needed to get his performance in.  with such "superstars" as Toting "The Mouth of the South" Bunye, Mike "The Hammer" D, and Raul "The Animal" Gonzales; Norbie the Red Alarmist needed a little bit of the spotlight. 

Current Mood: irritatedirritated
21 août 2006 @ 22:51
to give context to the title, let me tell you what a talangka is. it's a small freshwater crab (Paratelphusa spinigera) eaten as a delicacy here in the philippines. place a bunch of them in a bucket and you will observe something pretty interesting.  there will be some individuals who will attempt to climb out of the bucket... in fact they will climb over their fellows to get to the edge and out to freedom.  but most cooks don't worry about that.  more often than not, one of their fellows will make sure to pull them right back down into the bucket.

this is "crab mentality", a trait we are very well known (throughout the world for).  and i've been to more than a few places outside of the philippines.  i can say with a fair amount of certainty, that in my experience, the one thing that a successful Filipino abroad has to worry about... is another Filipino out to drag him back down into the bucket with everybody else.

nowhere is this worse than in the Philippines.  the media strives to keep the populace dumb, by deadening its capacity for discernment with a vicious poison: envy towards one another

i think this is a vestige of the "divide and conquer" tactics so efficiently employed by the Spanish against us--and gleefully perpetrated by those that currently hold power and influence to make sure the bulk of us stay in a perpetual state of animated slumber...oblivious to everything save a perverted fantasy world shaped by soap operas, game shows, and sensationalist journalism.

allow me to continue by giving the classic "isagani cruz" qualification: that i am wholly unqualified to make a generalisation about this media outfit, as i don't patronise their TV station, nor do I read their newspaper.  i am only speaking out against those irresponsible media people who treat news like entertainment.  and should this people repent from their ways and behave like rational responsible journalists, then they will have my unending respect. *derisive snicker*

i used to like channel 7.  i mean that's where i got to see voltes v, mazinger z, ghost fighter, slam dunk, dragonball, and trigun.  but i stopped watching a long time ago.  right around the time a GMA reporter got a young boy killed because he stuck his nose right into hostage negotiations in a bus station, wannabe hero news-moron decides to he'll be the one to end the crisis, says the wrong thing, drugged out father goes buck wild and stabs his child to death.  real smart move there, buddy.

now their news show devotes at least 15 minutes every evening to headlines that follow this template: (number) (location) (gruesome manner of death).  for example: 15 tao sa quezon city, tumaob ang jeep, patay! (15 people riding a passenger jeep in quezon city, jeep flips over, they all die!)

not to mention a journalistic style predicated on the presentation of facts and the exaggeration of details in a manner that is meant to incite and inflame, instead of to simply inform.  of injecting bias into a medium that must remain, as much as humanly possible, inviolate of any slant or prejudice.

and while they allowed Manuel L. Quezon III the chance to speak out for the LGBT community, the fact that they allowed Isagani Cruz to spread his kind of filth in the media in the first place is... deplorable (and no sir, i am straight and i definitely do not entertain any thoughts about shaking your hand or embracing you either. eeew.) granted Mr. Quezon's article wasn't exactly an object lesson in restraint either.  but i suppose this all fits with PDI's penchant for "making such a big deal" out of things.

my question really is, when will this sort of crap end? maybe never, considering how this network and that paper love to self-advertise about their number one position in Philippine media today.

the PDI-GMA7 media establishment has but one aim. i'm not quite sure what it is, but it falls more within the realm of "shameless profit-taking from sensationalised half-truths masquerading as news" than real journalism. and its their brand of trash that's guaranteed to ensure that the majority of the people here who choose to remain slaves to their "idiot box" remain just that.  idiots

to extend the above analogy.  this is a media outfit that encourage people to wallow in their ignorance by perpetuating stereotypes and biases, while hypocritically proclaiming in their 2-minute long station ID spots that they are the most "balanced" news outfit in the country.  give me a break.

another major daily periodical has this phrase as its motto, "the newspaper is a public trust", and while i don't quite agree with their editorial position, i think there'd be a greater chance of seeing real newsmen in their offices than at PDI's.

as with everything else in this country my friends, caveat emptor.

good night!
Current Location: la maison
Current Mood: cynicalcynical
21 août 2006 @ 22:05
not much going on today, just had a story conference with a good friend on this little piece of interactive fiction (read forum role-playing game hee) that we're putting together, hanging out, and doing errands. holidays are well kind of weird little animals, especially long weekend-days... everything seems like its time dilated somehow, and today felt like it got mushed in with sunday and it was just one looong lazy day.

but anyway, a meme. :)

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated.
You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.
Current Location: la maison
Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
20 août 2006 @ 09:34
back during my days at he University of Toronto, one of the things i would like to do (on the days when i wasn't horribly busy either studying or socialising) was cruise the different college libraries for periodicals that were "off the beaten path" as it were. 

over at Innis College (or was it New?) they had all these journals about film studies, and one of the ones I would really like reading was Jump Cut.

well, the publishers have moved their journal on the Web! too bad i never thought of looking them up, considering they've been on the Web for a long time.  they've also abstracts of their older, print stuff (Issues 1-43), which you can still go and order copies from the publisher.

just thought i'd share.


Current Location: la maison
Current Mood: gigglyelated
19 août 2006 @ 23:33

the entire premise and concept is so bloody surreal your head will be spinning throughout the entire film.  a canadian production, directed by a Canadian Indian, and starring talent that are Canadian, Indian, and everything in between. :)

it tells of a story of Indian-Canadians trying to find their identities in this new country, all set against the backdrop of a rather lighthearted bollywood style movie.  generational conflicts abound, as well as the struggle for the Indian diaspora in Canada to retain what part of India they had brought with them when they came over.  it is a classic love story in the vein of Pretty Woman. and, it comes complete with the musical numbers and the Indian street dancing. :)

i think that's what i miss about back home.  it's totally alright to be who you are over there, no matter what ethnicity you hold. 

the Canadian cultural landscape is supposed to be a mosaic, with each little peace retaining its own integrity, but pieced together to create a whole much greater than the sum of its parts.  it's not an easy thing to do mind you, but Canada has managed to go along with Canadians being an amalgam of their adopted country and of their home. 

there's  something utterly rational about it i suppose.  i mean Canada has acknowledged that this land was never really theirs to begin with, unlike those (nevermind, this piece is not about them Yanks)... so why not bring what you have from wherever you're from to the big Canadian party?


i wanna go home.
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
18 août 2006 @ 17:22

i don't know what else to say. all in all its been a pretty good day. vegging out is good.

You Are Root Beer

Ultra sweet and innocent, you have a subtle complexity behind your sugary front.
Children love you, but so do high end snobs... when you're brewed right.

Your best soda compatibility match: Dr. Pepper

Stay away from: Diet Coke
Current Location: la maison
Current Mood: refreshedrefreshed
Current Music: caramelldansen - caramell
17 août 2006 @ 13:28
hmmm... this is telling.  time to update my job search preferences... to specifically exclude what i'm doing right now. hee hee hee hee.

Your Career Personality: Independent, Insightful, and Ingenious

Your Ideal Careers:

Business strategist
College professor
Computer programmer
Video game developer
Current Location: the abyss
Current Mood: weirdweird
Current Music: dear paul - barbie's cradle
15 août 2006 @ 21:06
i was so tired last night that i actually left this as an unsaved draft. anyway, here was a meme i took. been a tiring week. and it's not over...

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.
Current Mood: tiredtired
14 août 2006 @ 09:40
Presenting, in all it's wild, unbridled fury: the Philippine bigot.

Once present in great herds that roamed throughout most of the archipelago, the Philippine bigot's numbers have steadily been decreasing as the populace is opened to new experiences and knowledge.   The bigot used to be a normal human being, but because of exposure to a dangerous poison secreted by the utterances of another bigot, loses his humanity and becomes a danger for other people.

To assist all of you nature watchers in identifying this wild beast, we present evidence of its existence:

Be warned however, this creature attacks by spreading a dangerous neurotoxin that is especially potent for those with limited understanding or a narrow point of view. This toxin may lead people to believe the bigot's point of view and may lead to acts of discrimination and violence against innocent people.  Once this happens the victim becomes a bigot as well, and threatens to begin the cycle anew.  This disease, called bigotry, is prevalent in other parts of the world and has been responsible for various acts of violence.

Bigotry threatens to be a pandemic that could erode the species' capacity for undertanding each other.  Those who are part of this risk group are advised to partake of health doses of information and a variety of persepectives on life.  In this way you might be able to retain your humanity.

So for all my friends out there and people in the blogosphere, be safe!

One last statement: There is no such thing as selective discrimination, the very act of it necessitates generalization.
Current Mood: shockedshocked
13 août 2006 @ 23:17

Your Quirk Factor: 61%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal.
No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

How Quirky Are You?

not much today. all i can say that the weekend was pretty cool. unfortunately, i am again filled with dread at the week ahead. ah well, such is life. :-P
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
12 août 2006 @ 22:30
ok.  you've probably think i've flipped my lid.

but yes, i'm getting excited over a household appliance. a little silver grey oven toaster that we purchased today.

apart from expanding the venues wherein i can express my culinary skills, i now (finally) can make something that i haven't enjoyed in a long time:

cinnamon toast. 

all hot and piping with the sugar on top bubbling and mixing ever so gently with the cinnamon and butter.  on whole wheat no less.


Current Location: la maison
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: close to the end - mojofly
11 août 2006 @ 14:19
i'm working.... heeheeehee.
Current Location: dancing in the hole
Current Mood: hyperhyper
Current Music: PRIDE - The High and Mighty Color
11 août 2006 @ 13:04
another quiet day in the office.

and, well... i'm not so sure why, but darn it, i am most definitely, incontrovertibly... happy today.

maybe it's a cyclical thing.  maybe i have finally made an agreement with myself to end the current angsty dramatics.  maybe it's because i know all the people i care about are also alright (why and how i know this i can't quite put my finger on either.)  or maybe i am just realising (again) that everything really is all good.

i don't know.

but hey, you can't be sad all the time, right?
Current Mood: happyhappy
10 août 2006 @ 17:36
yup. i took the test. and yup. i kind of expected what the answer was. and well, i am not at all ashamed. bwahahahahah! yes, i... am... a....

major geek

now go, take the test.  click on the image, and get started.  learn the truth.  you know you want to.  the truth will set you free.

Current Mood: geekygeeky
10 août 2006 @ 13:07
well, the vaguely stream of consciousness post of around midnight, which took me about four hours to complete (because i fell asleep, hahah!) has gotten me thinking now...  if i had the opportunity (because choice is something we always have, no matter how things look) what would i want to be?  here's an initial list.
  • lead vocalist - i used to have a band, several actually, and i must say those few times that i got the chance to go up on stage were one of the most exhilarating moments of my life.  now, while i may not have a marketable physique (unless, lets say i decided to get into hiphop -- which is not singing in my book), i think my voice can still cut it.   i miss connecting with a crowd, the applause, the cheers... (even if more than half the crowd is composed of people you know.)  but seriously who wouldn't miss that?  it'd be better if you actually got paid good money for it.  (which remids me, if you love hard rock, watch COG, my friend's band.  because the pirates have gotten to their album and it looks like they won't be making money that way)  i was watching Lougee Balasbas of Mojofly this morning.  although she was trying to put on a "cool" persona, i could tell she was enjoying what she was doing.  okay, maybe i can't really make a living off of this... but heck just to be able to jam from time to time would be cool.
  • roleplaying game (RPG) gametester - the "ultimate day job" for me.  be it tabletop, console, computer, multiplayer online... as long as its a decent RPG with a sound concept i'd be more than willing to early to the office every day to do my work. :) 
  • professional scale model builder - a profession peculiar to Japan, these guys build models for a living; aircraft, ships, mecha, tanks, even figures of manga girls in skimpy outfits... part painter, part sculptor, part fanboy... you work hard to give life to masses of acrilonitryl butadiene styrene, polystyrene, polyvinyl chloride, polyethylene, and metal.  and you get your work published in magazines to boot!
  • writer/publisher - while this may not be considered professional writing, i have had the opportunity to write for a living.  unfortunately being a beginning journalist in the philippines is not going to feed anyone, not even yourself.  I've been writing creatively since i was fourteen, when i wrote a comic book mini-series for me and my cousins.  what would i like to write?  anything really... a column in a newspaper/magazine or some articles here and there, short stories, a novel (why not?), even a role-playing game system and setting.  i also would like to be able to publish... not only my stuff but other people's stuff too.  and although publishing has been made so much easier by the internet (and places like LJ), books give you a completely different feel.
  • travel correspondent - ever since the Lonely Planet, i had always wanted to do this sort of job!  just jetting to different locations and partaking of the local culture--from it's customs, to language, recreational activities, and food. 
  • university professor - last but not least, another job i've had the pleasure of doing (though that initial batch of students were really just kids) and would consider doing again.  i have always found it fascinating, learning about how other people think... and then sharing your own insights, in the hopes that they learn something from you, and you learn something from them in return.
so there it is, my initial list of things i wanna be.  kinda strange eh, for me to think about these things at an time when i'm supposed to have everything "all figured out".  unfortunately, i'm an incorrigible non-conformist. hee hee hee!
Current Location: the hole
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: walking away - crag david
10 août 2006 @ 00:25
minna-san, ohayou gozaimasu. :)

alright it definitely is not morning from where i'm writing, but it is a new day.  and right now is another evening spent on the contemplation of all this stuff that is life.  let me start by posting a song lyric, and then tell you what i think (and thought of it)

(There's Gotta Be) More to Life
Stacie Orrico

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

Than waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
To life..

nice song, and a cute video from what i remember of it.  the lyrics are also telling of the struggle of people to find "more" than what life is currently giving them.

i used to feel this way.  and heck, i've gone through enough of life (a lot of the crappy parts of it anyway) to have an acute sense of lack, of wanting more--be it more money, more success, more status, influence, love, stuff, friends, etc., ad infinitum

i went through a lot of the temporary highs, moments bordering on hubris, or just plain egotism.  tripping out on the euphoria of achievement, or acceptance, superiority, righteousness, and yes, the more mundane substances that you ingest or indulge in to give you those sorts of feelings--like alcohol, drugs, food (the more decadent the better), and everything else.

and that's exactly what i got from all of that stuff, a temporary high.  thing is, these highs eventually end. and you end up crashing "down to earth" again, and thinking, "there's gotta be more..." so you go off and get more, falling deeper and deeper into your addiction.

and so here i was, going through this cycle, over and over, happiness and hurt, abundance and want, up and down.

life just became this race up a mountain, with everything i want at the top, and every biatch and asshole blocking my path towards it.  i thought, in order for me to get there, i'd need to carve my way up this hill.  charge in, kick ass, take names.  either people stepped aside, or waited till i passed to pick up their severed body parts.

of course in such a world you realise that you're not the only game in town, and that there are others that will positively P0wnz0r Y3r $0rRy @r$3.  and it was during one of these times, where there i was in the only place i had left to seek solace, aloe, looking at the ceiling where i thought, "there has to be another way".

and there is, if you're only willing to lookfor what?, you might be asking.  well, it's not a "what" i found, but actually "how".

yup.  you'll see the "other ways" to life spread out before you when you learn to look at the world (and your life and its place in it) differently.  stay with me for a second and i'll show you how.

think for a moment of life as not having any dimensions.  no up or down.  no one being higher or lower than you.  no one worse or better off.  not even good or bad.  think that you're not in a race, but you, and everyone you know are all on this broad, circular highway.  it's got room for everyone to be on it, and it goes around so you can't really be further up or be lagging behind anybody. (still there?)  now, think that you're all on a seperate path, and while your path and someone else's may cross for a while, they can't really be the same path, so you're not crowding anyone out, nor would they be able to crowd you out.  you can just share the road--it's big enough.  finally, think that your path can go where you want it to go.  by simply just going there.

world's a little less cramped now is it?

life (the universe, everthing.... hee. :) ) is big enough for you and your dreams, and everybody else's to co-exist.  remember we're going through life for no one else but us.  we're not beholden to anyone, and nor should you expect anyone to be beholden to you.

so just be.  live.  dream.  hope.  love.  and... smile. :)
Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful
09 août 2006 @ 13:47
it's quiet day in the office.

and my discontent has abated somewhat. (it's now a process running in the background. hahaha!)

and so today, i will meme.

i'm not quite sure what type A personalities are, but i'm not one of them. whether or not i should be happy about not being one, i guess i'll just have to find out sometime. :)

You Have A Type B+ Personality
You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions
now would you look at this next meme! i'm amazed... at me! if anyone has been tracking this journal, it's a test that i've taken periodically... and wow, i guess i really am getting better at this. :)

You Have Low Self Esteem 16% of the Time
Which can be translated to mean, you have high self-esteem and a healthy sense of self worth. You believe in yourself, and you know how to be the real you. You love yourself, imperfections and all.
Current Mood: highhigh
08 août 2006 @ 09:09
i think you can pretty well much guarantee that job dissatisfaction is at an all time high when the only thing you and the people around you look forward to is the quarterly (hah! quarterly! stop it shiro, stop it! stop defending them! you know it's not quarterly... it's whenifeellikeitly) bonus.

thing is, management at the Bank has been dangling this like a carrot for the past week and a half now, with all of us jumping through hoops and getting all of our hopes up.  and just like a sadistic bastard, you wake up the next morning and nothing comes.  meanwhile, you arrive at work with more stuff to do on your desk.  stuff that has been universally recognised as being very important.  in fact, you've been told that the work you do is very important, and that you have been doing it well.  it's just that they want you to devote all your time and effort to it... while they reward other people for the whatever they do.

but i just have to let this go... this is but a little wrinkle in the tapestry of life. 
Current Location: the abyss
Current Mood: gloomygloomy
Current Music: star stealing girl (Chrono Cross OST)
07 août 2006 @ 21:41
alright, i admittedly was in a foul mood this morning. and other people (even me on a good day) would have be able to handle the situation with far more aplomb than i was able to muster; i just couldn't, not today at least. these days, i really feel that somewhere down the line people in the office just decided to take me for granted. and still do.

i am thankful though that i run into people that never cease to remind me that there is more to the life than our little dramas. take this peace for example that i got from one of the moderators on the reiki forum i'm on. ^_^

15 Things to Remember Every day

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
Current Mood: happyhappy
07 août 2006 @ 11:48
hi all! well another week has begun. i'm just waiting to be called up to corporate headquarters and have a meeting with the person that has been universally recognised in the bank to be the biggest a$$#0l3 that was ever employed by it. lucky me. unfortunately, this guy is apparently very good in his field, something which he never fails to mention to anyone he gets to work with, which is typical of people with only one competency.

anyway, i took a meme. ^_^

You are 93% Aquarius

no wonder i was born two weeks early. just to sneak into aquarius... hahaahah!
Current Location: the hole
Current Mood: blahblah